Casino wrote:I want to hear from Sideshow Mel, and shivo
He should do a blog like the Secret Footballer about the daily grind of the office
I fucking hate my job.
I dread going to bed every night knowing that when I wake up I have to come into this shit hole. I dispise near every aspect of it. Every single day for the past 8.5 years I've died a little inside to the point where each day is a blur. Each moment in this office I feel a mid-50s guy who hates his wife but only stays with her for the kids. They act civil with each other, not just in front of others but to each other, as if keeping the facade up is the only thing from a knife fight in the kitchen that starts over the dinner being slightly too salty.
The clients I deal with are almost all complete cunts. The most demanding, arrogant pricks you would ever come accross. Every few minutes something new is "SUPER EXTRA MEGA URGENT" when it is in fact something entirely inconsequential. It's even hard to muster any enthusiasm for the actual important issues, because all it's doing to making some rich fucks richer. It's a constant battle where you just have to lube up, bend over and take it (figurately, it's not THAT bad), becuase ultimately the reviews and scorecards from the clients are what determine your performance review. Those clients who are not like that fall into the 'haven't single breeze about what's going on at all'. They expect you to know things that you'd have no possible way of know e.g. "do you think our traders will do something like that?" You just want to reply in 72pt bold red font "How in the name of fuck could I possibly know what your own traders what to do you thick fuck?" But no, you have to stick to 'professional' language and dance around with the words as to not insult them.
Then there are the dickheads I work with. With the exception of one guy who I've known long before joining here, I wouldn't bat an eyelid if the rest of them died in a horrible accident. The place seems to attract every manner of oddball who collectively have the social skills of Rain Man. Everyone seems to have their own agenda and have no problem stabbing each other in the back for their own gain becuase they somehow equate their status within the job with their life success in general and lets them not just be a cunt in the office, but outside the office. The majority of those in management are vile cunts. The constant undercurrent of racism, mysogny and general bullying is deplorable. The upper management think they can get away with near anything - because within the office they can. But this boils over into the real world, in that every 6 months or so news comes through that another SVP has lift his wife because be was fucking all around him like a dog with two mickeys. But if you want to get anywhere here, you have to be jack the lad and laugh it off, high five and brown nose your way into a promotion.
Then there's the beloved business talk. You're almost looked down upon if you dont use the usual cliches. It's as if there's an unwritten rule that if you're a straight talker you don't know what you're doing. This is due to people being afraid to say "I don't know" in answer to something that they don't fucking know. Stop wasting time waffling about something that has nothing to do with the question. I don't care how much you know about this or that, hows about we just take our cocks out to measure and figure out who's the alpha male. it'll be quicker and probably more dignified that me standing here pretending that irregardless is a real word.
But I'm still here, becuase I'm used to it, or more accuratly, I'm numb to it. I'm able to do my job well and the pay is decent, benefits and holidays are brilliant. Plus, some days you can just turn up, zone out and do nothing all day. After all these years, if my boss gets on my back about something not being done, I'm well versed in being able to come up with a valid excuse to buy me more time. Most importantly it takes me under 5 mins to walk to work and I'm a very, very lazy man.
TL;DR - I work for cunts, with cunts and am a cunt.